In Recovery

Hello. My name is Marissa and I am a recovering Resistance Addict.

My life was run on autopilot and fueled by resisting. Resisting things made me feel alive. Wherever there was something to push against, I pushed. Whenever there was an argument to be made, I made it.

Resistance was part of my identity. 

My resistance was particularly strong when it was something that was good for me. If I was presented with say, new way to do something. I would make it harder than it needs to be to get to the same realization. I would convince myself that I was being confident and independent by doing things this way. (I will not discount that going alone has allowed me to develop these skills, but it made it harder.)

Through therapy I've learned why I resisted so much and that has been a valuable experience. An experience that has allowed me to fill my toolkit for how to move forward. 

Today, I am in recovery.

I trust my inner being to guide me on the path of LEAST resistance.

I recognize that on this path, my past habits and programs will respond and I will still be pulled to find places to resist. However, resistance is no longer my fuel. My life is fueled by love and joy. I give myself space to heal and recover and follow this new path to the life I want.