There's a push and a pull now.
There is an old and a new.
A light and a heavy.
It is because I am changing - I am becoming.
There are still things that annoy me.
There are still things that anger me.
Things that fluster, sadden and hurt.
I have found that if I let myself feel the negative emotion, it is easier to let it go. If I fight it or build onto it, it is harder for it to leave. Since uncovering my true self, I can feel it without having it stick around.
This is one of the most powerful things that I've ever experienced. For years I thought that there was something to fix. My past was something that needed mending. I spent time analyzing, discussing, and researching my past.
Knowledge is power, but then what?
Learning about my past was gift - but it was no longer serving me.
Now I use my past to create my future. I know what patterns my past created and why. I can recognize when they are happening in real time and create space to make a choice.
There is always a choice.
Sometimes the patterns are so strong, that the choice comes after the trigger or situation - but the choice still exists.
Therapy helped me.
Meds helped me.
And now I help me.
Mental health is just as important as physical health. And just like physical health treatment, there is no one way to treat mental health. What matters is that you do.